The Grammys

Fashion and music go together so well because they each run on cycles. In fashion, what was cool 10 years ago gets a bit of an update and everyone is wearing it again. Remember spandex pants? Aren’t yoga pants the same only with a better textile? The same can be said for music. If you were willing to sit through two and a half hours of dreck by watching the Grammy’s, you could see it happen right before your eyes. The actual show was 3 hours long so I’m giving it 30 minutes of watchable content.

The show started with another forgettable song from Taylor Swift. Her one redeeming factor is that she writes her own songs. Later in the show, when one of her songs was nominated, she did have a hand in writing it, along with an army of other writers.

The Weeknd came next. His song seemed really long. Though his style is not what I like. He does sing very well, kind of like Michael Jackson without the dance moves.

The Grammy’s love their “Grammy’s Moments.”

Memo to the Grammy’s: Stop trying to manufacture moments!! Get out of the way and let them happen if they are going to happen. Audra Day and Ellie Goulding singing together is not a moment everyone will be talking about for minutes to come, let alone years. The only reason to go back and watch this on YouTube is to see the back of Goulding’s hair. She looked like she had fun, if you know what I mean, (insert winking face emoji here) before she came out on stage.

And the winner is…for best way to get your song noticed goes to Little Big Town. They were brilliant enough to write a song called Girl Crush. Which, I’m sure thanks to the Bible belt, got banned for alleged lesbian overtones. This has worked since the beginning of music promotion. Just ask the PMRC and how their ratings of albums worked out for them.

Little Big Town, themselves, are really talented. They remind me of Fleetwood Mac. New country is really the new classic rock anyway, right?

Speaking of classic rock, Jackson Browne joined the remaining Eagles for a tribute to Glenn Fry. While the Eagles themselves sounded amazing, Jackson Browne was I get it, he’s a friend of the band with a name himself, but it just didn’t work out as well as it looked on paper.

Here’s a question. When were all the awards handed out? They only gave away a handful during the telecast and all of those were telegraphed. For example, Best Show tunes record went to Hamilton, which was on the show live from Broadway. Who didn’t see that coming? Meghan Trainor won for best new artist. Wait, hasn’t she been around for like forever? She must have been overlooked last year and this was a makeup award. She used to be “all about that bass”. Now she’s transformed into a svelter version of herself. Wonder if her next album will address that? She had also just performed in a terrible tribute to Lionel Ritchie. Is Tyrese, Seal Jr.? Everyone in the arena and at home knew she was going to win. How did she not? Crying the whole time during her acceptance speech, and then saying she had to leave to go cry. PLEASE!!

One of the guys who works on Power Chord loves Kendrick Lamar. I tried to listen to his record on Spotify. It was an immediate tune out for me. Seeing him preform his song helped me understand his message. He then took it way too far with the jail set and I tuned out again.

I’ll be the one to say this because nobody else seems to be able to. Adele was bad. There I said it. She’s an immense talent, but she was off her game. The song was awkward and she sang it that way.

Justin Bieber….hahaha I said Bieber. NEXT.

I was really looking forward to Lady Gaga’s tribute to David Bowie. In my last blog I even said I was becoming a fan of hers. I made a deal with myself, if she did a great job with these Bowie songs, I’d go out and buy all her CDs. My money is safe in my wallet. What was that? A bad wig, Evil Kneivel’s jumpsuit, and jazz hands? Nile Rodgers was on stage too! Dude you should have put a stop to that. As I look to the ceiling, I’d like to apologize to Ziggy himself.

Newest country darling Chris Stapleton was joined by Gary Clark and Bonnie Raitt. They did, "The Thrill is Gone” for the late B.B. King. This was a solid performance. No tricks, no backup dancers, just the blues and you could feel it.

Dave Grohl has become the token rock guy. He was the only rocker in the first 50 rows. He did a nice speech about Lemmy. Then introduced the Hollywood Vampires. Alice Cooper, Joe Perry, Duff McKagen, Matt Sorum, and Johnny Depp. After Grohl’s words they should have launched into Ace of Spades but instead they did it after an original song before circling back to “Ace of Spades”. I liked the song but there was too much fire and explosions being shown on the video screen behind them. Alice fucking Cooper was on stage. You don’t need all the extra B.S. Also in the first of two blows to the legend and ego of Joe Perry, Johnny Depp did the solo. Huh?

The mess of a finale starred Pitbull, Robin Thicke, Travis Barker and Joe Perry. The happiest person on the planet watching this was Steven Tyler. Steven can go do all the American Idol’s, country songs, and Skittles commercials his heart desires without fear of backlash from Joe Perry. If Joe ever says anything, Steven can ask, “Remember that time you played with Alan Thicke’s kid and Pitubull?” Scorboard!! Game Set Match.

Here’s the silver lining. Rock is once again the outcast. Here’s its chance to rise again. I mean real rock bands not whatever the hell Alabama Shakes is. We get to be rebellious again, we get to be defiant again, and we get to change the world again. To all you wannabe rock stars, in the immortal words of The Who: “Pick up your guitars and play, just like yesterday, and get on your knees and pray, We won’t get fooled again”.